So far away, yet so close

This week, Isaiah has become more independent of me in so many ways. Thankfully, though, he still lets me snuggle with him most of the time when I need it. Sometimes he even initiates the cuddle time, which makes me so happy my heart grows three sizes.

Isaiah has been practicing his walking and babbling and independent playing. Our days have become pretty routine with an early morning trip to the bathroom where Isaiah sits on the toilet while I sing to him or play with his toes or read him books. Then we go into the living room where Isaiah chooses which games he wants to play and I act as a human barrier closing off the dining room and kitchen. Ironically, the game he usually wants to play is "Do everything humanly possible to get into the dining room and kitchen." He has other toys he likes to play with too, though, and recently, he has been very happy playing with them all by himself. I have found myself just sitting on the sidelines watching him play with blocks, or push his truck, or even sit down with a book and turn the pages on his own. He still loves it when I play with him, but he doesn't need it as much anymore. It's actually very fun to sit back and watch him explore his toys. I feel like I can see his brain developing every day.

I remember being able to walk around the house with little baby Isaiah in a sling and just hold him close to me all day long. I read entire novels in a day because Isaiah slept in my arms or laid still and stared up at me. Now, though, if I hold him for more than a minute, he squirms to get down so he can walk around and play. He wants to move all the time, and he's just a playful, active little ball of energy. It's so much fun to be his mom, and when I miss being able to hold him for hours on end, he gives me a little taste of it once again. When I sit close to him as he plays, he will lean up against my stomach, rest his head in my lap, or wrap his arms around my legs. And when he's shy, nervous or tired, he will hold on to me tightly and bury his head in my neck. I can only hope that as much as he grows up in the years to come, he will reserve a little part of himself to be my baby.